im eating a double-yolk mooncake while typing the entry in this emo rainy weather. my Mom bought me the mooncake cos i told her im craving for one. 

what's sad is that im actually eating it all alone. to me, a mooncake is to be shared in the family sitting together, not munching it down myself. 

some time last week while eating another mooncake, my tears fell. 

i miss home. i miss sitting down as a family for dinner every evening, or even just sharing a mooncake. it's not that i dont like where i am now, it's just a different culture altogether. im not used to it and im not sure if i ever will be.

so guys, do appreciate your family when you can. =)

the other day i was briefing Mr Tan on what to do when he's in the delivery suite with me. his tasks are to:

but the "briefing"  was just an opportunity for me to bring up a more weighty issue. 

i told him to choose Baby Tan if ever the situation arises where it is either me or her. 

i have mentioned this to him before a couple of months ago and he brushed it off by asking me to get rid of those weird thoughts. i thought the impact of this issue has been cushioned.

instead, that moment his face fell. then he stared right into my eyes and i saw his eyes starting to fill with tears. for a guy who hardly shed a tear all his life, i was seriously taken aback. i have never seen him like that. then he gave me a great big hug and chided me for saying such inauspicious stuff.

i know i was being very cruel to bring that up to him especially at this point of time, but to the realistic me it's not just "weird thoughts". it is a possible situation. and when that happens (choy la) i probably wont be able to tell him personally. so i can only do it now. 

i wanted him to promise me that but he refused to.

then it was the end of topic. 

am i thinking too much? it could be the double-yolk mooncake, or the rainy weather. i dont know. but i think it could very well be cos Maplestory is undergoing server check till 12pm so i cant enter to kill mobs for now. 12pm faster come!!